The Ides of May

Today is two days before Wes' birthday. To prepare, I have been baking. He requested some peanut butter cookies, so as any good wife would, I delivered! We will be celebrating a day early with his mom, then on the actual day we will embark on our first adventure as a family of four! Camping with a newborn. Anyone have any advise for me? Am I crazy?

I think the kids are giving Wes early birthday gifts without even realizing it--Donny has become very aware of Wes' presence and makes it very clear when he would like some attention. This thrills his father to his very core! Was I so shell-shocked, sleep deprived to have missed this with Olivia? Or is my memory selective? Olivia was a big challenge today. Soccer game. She got upset on the field, for whatever reason (the girl drama is an entire blog, I'm afraid!) and decided to really act out! She stomped on the foot of a little boy who had nothing to do with her being upset. Wes had to pull her out of the game--yes, literally pulled her by the arm to remove her. Had to have the 'unsportsman-like conduct' speech, and boy I hope she listened. She went from just being tearful when the game wasn't going her way to being a bruiser. Pretty sure I don't like either option.

I am very excited to spoil Wes for his birthday this year. I feel like he doesn't get pampered the way he should sometimes, especially now that there is a very demanding 3 month old in the mix. We are taking Daddy to the Grand Junction Motor speedway to drive carts on the track. I hope he has a blast!

We are so fortunate in this life. I can't wait for our big adventure this week!!

Mother's Day

What a wonderful day I had yesterday! My family is awesome! I was so very touched by my daughter's generosity. She insisted (to her Gigi) that she give her mama beautiful flowers! They arrived around 5pm on Saturday, brightening my mood! She chose a lovely bouquet in a lavender vase. The next morning, we went to brunch, but not before she presented me with treats! Chocolate dipped strawberries she made herself. Sublime! I think the media is really to thank/blame for this--she has seen several commercials on television regarding mothers day floral arrangements and one for mail order chocolate strawberries. Funny how that gets through to her so clearly. She's taken to pausing TV (we have a dvr) on a certain commercial and saving it for me to watch--it's always a product she thinks I need to buy right now!!

Our adventure at brunch wasn't so spectacular, but I am getting used to this! Before we left, Wes (he opted out, thought brunch should just be for the girls) mentioned that he hoped we had a good brunch for once, perhaps our run of bad luck was over. Well, he jinxed us!!
Gigi was served raw salmon, not just rare, but raw! It could have been handled in any number of ways, but unfortunately the server never returned to see how our food was, so... Don't you just hate having to flag down the server to ask for the manager??!? Despite the bad food and poor service, we had a fun time that morning. I truly do feel special. Sometimes when I'm feeling tired and sort of used up, I need a day like this to put things in perspective. My life is amazing! I have a very precocious daughter who makes my world go 'round, a sweet baby boy who brightens the nights with his smile, and an amazingly loving, funny, handsome, brilliant husband who just really does it for me. I am a lucky girl!

Mortality

Been thinking a lot about life, death, and uncertainty this week. You ever have the feeling the universe is trying to tell you something but you know you're not hearing her clearly? Last week we learned the terribly sad news of our dear friend Danny McManus' death. This really threw me for a loop. Up till now, all of the friends we've lost have either gone from a known disease or from doing something athletic that defined their presence in this time & space. Danny passed away from natural causes in his sleep. Wow. This just seems so unreal, a 39 year old man just dying. In his sleep. This could happen to any of us, at any time. I really need to stop worrying so much about the future, the unknown, and all the silly and trivial things that crowd my consciousness and BE IN THE MOMENT! It could be my last. I really want to make sure if I were to die tonight that my daughter would have some idea how to enter the world as an individual and be a woman she will be proud of--I hope I've given her a good foundation. My son, I know, would only have a dreamy remembrance of me, so I trust in Wes to give him memories. My heart hurts so much for Danny's family. I can't imagine losing my child.

On this topic of children entering into the adult world and finding their way, my heart is heavy with worry for a friend this week. His son, barely a man, found himself in a terrible situation. How he is going to get out of this, how he is going to learn from this and grow is very uncertain. Makes me realize that no matter how much we love our kids and teach them everything we know is right and true in the world, they ultimately have to make their own way. I am afraid for him. I am afraid for my kids, too. The world ain't what she used to be...

Another instance from this week that is weighing heavily on me is the accident that Fred had last Tuesday. This man is one of the strongest people I've ever met. He's been down this road before, and I have to ask WHY AGAIN? I am worried, but have to trust that he's going to be okay.

So what is the universe, or God trying to say to me this week? Do I go boldly into the world, keeping my child's eye view of eveyone and everything or do I crush into myself and protect my loved ones from the unknown. I think I'm going to take one small step, I hope in the right direction, by making an effort to embrace every moment for what it is, good or bad.

3 months and counting

Well, we've made it to the three month mark, no fatalities. It has been a huge transition, trying to remember how I used to balance it all--before Olivia could do most everything for herself. I managed to work the last two months of the season with Donny on my chest. That was interesting. My back will never be the same--kidding! Loving the mud season, not having to work too too hard. Finding a peaceful space to be in my head. I am really enjoying a second chance at motherhood. I am also really loving watching Olivia grow and mature--she is hands down the best big sister I've ever seen! I'll put up a few pictures and again try to stay current on the blog. Feels good to write--I need to do it more often. Cheers!